Before writing this post, I was exploring this website and realized it's literally been over a year since I wrote my last blog. Crazy! A lot has happened this past year! When I say a lot, I mean I was gifted the best and hardest job in the world. My little boy is now 6 MONTHS old! When did that happen? Not only did I become a mama, I recently told the school where I taught, that I was going to be a stay at home mom. They were so supportive which helped me be more at peace with my decision. The decision was not an easy one, considering my whole life I knew that being a teacher was exactly what I wanted to do. But, the moment I held Luke in my arms, I knew my place was at home with him. Thankfully, my husbands self-employed job allows me to be able to do so!
All that said, my days look COMPLETELY different than what I've been used to for the past several years. There is no more revolving the days around my schedule. No more sitting down if I need a break, no more going out to dinner whenever we feel like it, no more staying out past seven, and may I add vacations, look way different than ever before. All that aside, there is way more love, way more joy, way more laughs, and most of all, more time spent trying to find who I really am.
People used to ask me, "so what do you do?" I took so much pride in saying, "Well, I'm married and I'm a teacher." Once I had Luke, I would answer, "I'm married, have a baby boy, and I'm a teacher." Recently, since I have decided to no longer teach, my new job is being Luke's mom. It is by far the hardest job I will always love!
Since being a stay at home mom, I have had some heart to hearts with the Lord, asking him what my identity and purpose is.
" Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God." - Colossians 3:1-3
When asked what I do, I need to keep in mind that my primary purpose is to pursue Christ and be kingdom minded. I cannot find my identity as Luke's mom because I will for sure fail, I cannot find my identity as Tim's wife, because I will not be fulfilled, I CAN find my identity as a child of God because that is where my hope can be found.
"Be still and know that I AM God." - Psalm 46:10
Trust me, I have to remind myself each and everyday that I am a child of God first and foremost. He is my God and he is ultimately in control. I can try to control this life as much as I want, but he knows the plans he has for me and I wouldn't want it any other way. When I really sit back and think about that, I am able to rest in the fact that life is such a gift and worrying about the future does absolutely no good.
So take the challenge with me to commit to spending time with Jesus each day this week. Even if it's for five minutes. Allow yourself to know that your identity is with him and everything else falls underneath that. Let's watch how our attitudes can be transformed.